Busy, Busy, Busy

Life is busy right now. Busy and a bit exhausting. So what is going on in my life, you might ask. Well...

In July I made my Etsy store live. You can see it here. That was one of my New Year Resolutions. And I did it! Now to maintain and update it. I have a number of jewelry items already made that I want to add to it, but that I need to photograph and create listings for. I am also working on some Christmas items to add to it, hopefully sometime in September. I am also considering starting a blog to chronicle my adventures in this exciting endeavor. Stay tuned to see if it actually happens, and if I can keep it updated once I've created it.

What else is keeping me busy? I now have two part-time jobs. That keeps me busy, and I end up plenty tired at the end of the day. I enjoy both jobs.

I also for the past month went and swam laps three mornings a week. I thoroughly enjoyed that despite the fact that it meant I had to wake up early to do so. But now that is over, and I need to find some other way of getting exercise in (something I struggle with).

Because I have been so busy, my writing has really taken a hit. I have only written 27 words in my Sleeping Beauty Spin-off in the past month. For awhile I was making really good progress. I even wrote a blog post about it, but that unfortunately got lost in the ether before I could post it - sad day. My stated New Year Resolution was to finish the first draft of this book this year. My mental goal, which felt more reasonable, was to get through chapter 10 by the end of the year - something that is still attainable since I am currently at the beginning of chapter 8. I just need to take time and work on it, at least once in awhile.

While I am not getting much creative writing done, I am getting book reviews written. I've started writing book reviews for I Am A Reader Not A Writer. You can see a post introducing me as a reviewer here. I would definitely recommend following her blog. She has lots of awesome author interviews, book giveaways, and of course book reviews. I am enjoying reviewing books for her blog. It's fun. :)

I also keep busy helping out in the Nursery at church, attempting to keep up with housework, spending time with family and friends, and spending as much time as I can with my husband before the semester starts and he gets busier. And that is my busy life in a nutshell.

A Trip to the River

However did it get so late...ah well, I should have time for at least a short post. Today I went to the river--Glen Maury River. My sisters Alice and Sarah also went. We had lots of fun playing in the water, enjoying the peace of a beautiful spring day, and trying to skip rocks (I wasn't so good at that). It's been a long time since I've been to the river, but I hope to go again sometime soon. The smells, sounds, and sights all brought back memories and created new ones to remember in times to come. The cool water felt good in contrast to the warm day and very few bugs bothered us. Walking up the river with Sarah caused a song from Easter Parade to pop into my mind--"A Walk Up the Avenue." Not quite an avenue, or at least a watery avenue.

Do you know whose blog I like? Patricia C. Wrede http://pcwrede.com/blog/--she gives lots of good writing advice. This coming Saturday I'm attending a writing workshop at SVU. Orson Scott Card, Brandon Mull, and a few other others will be there. It should be good. I really need to spend more time writing. I am never going to reach my goals if I do not. (note regarding my last post: I wouldn't not get married because those things I wanted to happen before I married hadn't happened, but it is nice that two of them now have occurred:).)

I enjoyed watching General Conference this past weekend. The speakers gave wonderful talks. It's a bit daunting thinking about all the things I need to work on and improve in, but all is possible with the help of Lord and effort on my part, of course. In Institute today we reviewed some of the talks and topics from Conference. I especially liked hearing about Elder Rasband's talk from the Priesthood session. He spoke of an experience he had of observing President Eyring assign out mission calls, and encouraging him, Elder Rasband, to pay more attention to the spiritual guidance the Spirit offers. That struck me greatly. I want to strive to do just that. To diligently strive.

Did you notice the lack of "to be" verbs in this post--I diligently strove to avoid using them. Some of my sentences may sound a bit strange as a result. I am unaccustomed to striking their use from my writing, but it is a habit I hope to develop, for I do believe my writing will improve a bit as a result.

I enjoy crafts. In fact, I am cross-stitching at this very moment, in between typing thoughts to this post. Also, my brother Samuel gave me a beading loom for Christmas that I really want to try out. My older brother, Nathan and Byron, and I did some beading in our younger years. I enjoy making cards--I made one just tonight--a get well card for my grandma.

Do you ever have those times when you remember short parts of movies and a sense of the movie but can't remember the name of it? I do. One movie continues to flicker at the edges of my brain. I think Fred Astaire might star in it. And it seems like he owns a fashionable clothing store or something and pretends he doesn't, so as to give a girl privileges modeling the gowns or something. He says a madame so and so owns it. And eventually reveals that he is actually the owner. See, I remember so little. Hopefully some day I'll come across it again.

The New Year is Here!

It is now a few weeks into 2010, and I am doing fairly okay with my new year's resolutions. For example, I walked home from SVU 3 times already. I know that may not seem like much exercising to you, but that is really good for me. Also, while I still haven't earned any money, I have bid on three jobs on elance.com, I may not get any of them, but I'll continue bidding on jobs. Also, have kept up on my indexing--100 names per week. I keep hopeful. I have hope for the future. Hope that I'll be able to earn money, hope that I'll be able to move back to Provo, hope that once back in Provo I'll be able to get a job. I think as far as a job goes I would like one that I can sit down at and one where I can earn enough money to support myself. Some places I've considered looking at for jobs are Nuskin, ancestry.com, Provo City, BYU if there are any jobs open.

I'm only doing so-so with trying to go to bed earlier. It's difficult for me. I've kept up on my Institute reading so far. Hopefully I can continue to stay on track. I'm also still helping with SVU's literary magazine--The Review. We need to get started on production work soon though. This evening I got some more blog mining done for Rick Walton.

I'm still working on cross-stitching Christmas presents. Hopefully people don't mind getting them late. If they do, I'll just tell them it's a New Year's or Valentine's or St. Patrick's etc present. :) Today I watched a cute movie. It is actually one I'd seen before, but forgotten. It's called "The Cowboy and the Lady." I really liked it :) I love watching movies--they make me happy.

I am also trying to be more productive. In pursuit of the goal, the other day I spent an hour typing in writing notes. Ideally I would spend a few hours every day working on writing, but I've got to start where I am and improve from there--slow though the progress may be. I'm also reading this book my dad wants me to read--The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle. It's interesting. It talks about how myelin wraps around the nerves in our brain making it so they can fire quicker and that's how we gain skills--the more we practice (the right kind of practice, mind you) the more the myelin wraps and the better we get at those skills. At least that is my understanding. Reading this book does bring some questions to my mind. For example, how does myelin work for someone who has Fibromyalgia? Does FM affect myelin at all? Since apparently everything is controlled by the nerves in our brain, what are the mechanisms that create the symptoms of Fibromyalgia? I don't expect the book to answer these questions, but it does cause me to think and to wonder.

Well, I won't regale you more on my thoughts and questions sparked by this book. I actually need to decide what I'm going to do the rest of the evening and an episode of "Remington Steele" is sounding mighty nice! I'm so glad Tiffany Draut introduced me to that show! She currently serving a mission in Brazil. I think that's way cool, but am kind of glad that it's her and not me.

Until next time~~~

'Tis the Season

Christmas is coming... For the past month I've been working on cross-stitching Christmas presents for my family. The house is decorated, the snow has come--it's Christmas time. Hot Chocolate with a mini candy cane in it. Christmas movies (I recommend Santa and Pete among others--so many others) and memories of years gone by. I love the spirit of giving that is refreshed in our hearts at this time of year. And the Christmas music uplifts my heart. Tonight I've stayed up late cross-stitching and designing Yahoo Avatars.

The very best thing about Christmas, though, is that is reminds us of Christ. Of His birth and of His life. His teachings and His divine sacrifice for us. Think of what Mary felt as she held this tiny baby in her arms. While she knew he was special, I doubt she could comprehend what his mission in life would be. And yet, he was her son. He was her precious child. Christ came from humble beginnings, yet he would achieve greatness beyond imagine. His is our Lord and our King. Our Savior and Redeemer. Our elder brother who beckons us home.

And so, at this Christmas season, might we be grateful for the blessings of our life and for the Life Everlasting that is possible through Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night!

Cross Stitching

I love cross-stitching! I find it enjoyable and relaxing. I like all the different patterns and of course all the various colors of embroidery floss. I found this cool website online that offers you free patterns everyday. If any of you go to http://cross-stitchers-club.com/?code_avantage=okyjcc and join I will receive points to access patterns from previous days. I'd love you forever if you did! (Although I'll probably love you forever if you don't). Cross-stitching does bother my arms some, but I'm trying to manage that with some exercises I learned from people who went through my line at Day's market and gave me advice on how to help my carpal tunnel. One of the persons who gave me advice was a massage therapist--I trust her advice the most, and it does help--which is good.

It is late and I need to get myself off to bed. But, I thought I'd let y'all know about one of my hobbies. Jenn reintroduced me to it and taught me how to be a competent cross-stitcher--Thanks Jenn!!!

Me duele...

So, I'm going to write a quick blog post and then go to bed, since it is late and I'm not feeling the greatest (yesterday I discovered the following warning on the new medicine I'm taking: "This medicine may lower your ability to fight off infections. Avoid contact with people who have contagious diseases." LOL, like I can do that). Anyway. Tonight I watched "Enchanted." It is one of my favorite movies. I've been hurting a lot today. Tonight I tried to look at doing some cross-stitching, but that caused a bunch of pain in my arms, so I couldn't work on anything. I think sometimes I wish there was even more wrong with me--perhaps as an excuse to spoil myself, or at least a way to justify spending more time trying to take care of myself. Currently, my arms do hurt and that does limit me some, but at least with my job, I plan to use my arms until I just can't take the pain anymore, when it becomes unbearable, like it was in March.

It is sometimes hard to be limited by my arms...to not be able to do things I want to do because of the pain it will cause. It can be frustrating at times. I really should go to bed. That would probably help my headache. I took a nap earlier, so we will see what kind of luck I have with sleeping, but I did take the new meds to help me sleep, and it's been working fairly well, so hopefully it will help tonight. It's a good thing I can sleep in tomorrow, but I can't sleep in too late, 'cause I need to go to my internship in the afternoon. Ta ta for now :)

PS There will be more interesting posts sometimes...I promise...soon I'll write one on faeries...

Bothersome

So, I did go to sleep. Unfortunately, I only slept for a few hours before waking up. After spending two and a half hours trying to fall back asleep, listening to my Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack twice, I have given up for the nonce. Good news though, my friend Jenn Bott had her baby--he was born around 8:55 PM, which is kind of ironic because just around that time I was thinking about her and I even mentioned to my friends that I wondered if she'd had her baby yet. I am so excited for her and I can't wait to see her baby (although I'm sure when I'll be able to go visit her, but hopefully sooner than later). I need to get to work on my cross-stitch baby presents for her. She is actually the one who taught me how to cross stitch, more or less. I love cross-stitching! I generally find it very relaxing and if I cross-stitch while watching a movie it helps me feel productive.

I predict that I will be tired tomorrow/today. I have my doctor's appointment in the morning (and I really hope that corisone shot helps, although it will take a few days). Not that I am trying to self diagnose, but I think I may have restless leg syndrome (RLS, just another to add to the list, I know). My mom's cousin Mary, from whom I learned about Fibromyalgia, has it. I believe my parents thought I might have RLS too, but I was more concerned about understanding my pain and fatigue. But I really do think I have it. I just looked at the symptoms list and yeah. It would also explain the random tingling sort of sensations I've been noticing in my legs recently. I wonder who I'd talk to in order to get diagnosed with it. At some point I need to meet with my primary physician. She's pretty amazing. And she has helped me a lot over the past five years. I'm going to be sad when I have to go find a new doctor (since I can't keep her as my doctor after I get off my current insurance and I'll only be able to have it through August of this year). I am not looking forward to doctor shopping, although I'm sure I'll be limited in some ways by what insurance I end up with.

I'm starting to think I should really find out if I have any sleeping disorders, just for my peace of mind if nothing else. Well, I set up an appointment with my primary care physician. Maybe we can see if we can do something about my sleep. It is something we discussed during my last visit, and I know my sleep hygiene isn't the best ever, but my body not allowing me to sleep at night is just getting plain annoying. If it were a little later I'd call and talk with my parents, and while they are probably awake right now, I don't want to put them behind on their morning routine.

Pain, pain, go away and don't come again another day. No, I know this is my lot in life and I accept that for the most part, but it doesn't change the fact that at times it is difficult to deal with. I'm sure I agreed to these trial in the pre-existence, so I find it reasonable that I should try to endure them cheerfully, but still. "Smile" is my motto even if I don't always live by it.

So, people say they can spend hours on facebook, and I can too, but recently I haven't found it as compelling an attraction. And what to do now. Do I attempt sleep once again, even though I'm not feeling sleepy? Do I pull out a book and read? Spend time picking my fav 5s on facebook? I guess I could keep writing in here, but I think my mental power is waning. Looks like it's time for facebook quizzes... And universe, be kind.

Decisions

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. Sometimes it is difficult for me to decide what to do with my time. It is not that I cannot think of anything to do, it's more that I can decide what to do out of all the possibilities. What would be the best use of my time? What should I do? What is most important? What would make me the most happy? What would be most productive? What would bring me the most joy? And sometimes as I consider these I also wonder if I even have enough energy to do them? Is that spot of time and spec of energy enough to call my friend? write a thank-you note? watch a movie and work on my cross-stitching? read a book? start typing up my journals? And so on. So what do I end up doing with my time? Well, it depends, but I've got to admit that something I end up spending all my time wondering and doing nothing (not the most productive use of my time, I know).

Faeries are fabulous, just in case you wanted to know.

Both of my arms are currently hurting. That also puts a kink in the "what should I do" question and search. I'm mildly concerned that the carpal tunnel is returning in my right arm (although I never was completely convinced that it was entirely gone in the first place). I am hoping that I can get some answers from my rheumatologist in the next few weeks as I have a couple appointments with him. However, I learned long ago not to expect doctors to have answers. Much of the time, perhaps even most of the time, they don't really have any answers (at least in my experience). Recently I have begun wondering if perhaps I have a sleeping disorder. It seems reasonably possible that my disordered sleeping is not simply caused by my lack of sleep hygiene nor simply my pain interferring with my sleep. Although, perhaps stress is another factor that disturbs my sleep as well. Perhaps I will never know. I'm sure I have been diagnosed with plenty of things already. I usually can't remember them all at any given moment.

Things are looking up for me...at least financially. Barring any more catatrophes or money drains, I'd say I might be able to go to the dentist in May (I need to go to the dentist so that he can glue one of my dental bridges back on--currently it can come completely off. It has been like that for a few months, actually, but I haven't had the time or money to do anything about it. I would also like the dentist to just check to see if I have any cavaties. I used to not have to worry about them, but now that I have had some, I figure it is always good to check to see if there are more and if there are to get them taken care of as soon as possible).

I've often wished for a machine that could scan my entire body and then print out a reading detailing everything that is wrong with my body. Wouldn't that make life much easier. But, at the same time, that might be overwhelming. Finding out too much at one moment might be more than a sane person could deal with. But still. I know a friend who might like such a machine. From what she tells me, she is dealing with something I've dealt with before and that is going to the doctor when you feel awful and having them tell you nothing is wrong--or at least they cannot determine what is wrong with you. Such happenings are extremely frustrating. If they continue over the years you might even begin to question your own sanity. Are you really in pain? Is your mind just making it up? Are you just trying to get attention, despite the fact that you prefer to fade into the background? Are you a hypochondriac? Maybe this is normal since it is normal for you. You also find that many people have no interest in hearing what's wrong with you. Your pain does not hurt them. They may even think you are making it up. Or they might advise you to simply move beyond it and get things done. And so you do, or at least try to as best you can.

I have a sort of theory, or hypothesis, about why my body is falling apart on me at this time. I have been very focused on college and on working toward my goal of graduating from college since I was in seventh grade. So, I have pushed my body and mind as far as I could in order to achieve my goal. I have done whatever I have felt was necessary in order to further my progress. I worked my butt off in high school so that I could get good grades (aka. A's) so that I would get accepted to BYU. Once at BYU I worked as hard as I could to do well in my classes and I tried to keep my academic scholarship as a way to help me be able to pay for my schooling, since I also had a goal of graduating from college without having to take out a loan (I almost made it and have mostly made peace with the fact that I didn't). One summer I worked 60 hours a week. I worked two jobs--8 hour days during the week and 10-hour days on the weekends. I continually pushed my body to wake up early or stay of late in order to finish homework. I carried around my backpack--fitting as much in it as I could before it was just too heavy. So, all this is an introduction to my theory, which is "My body if falling apart on me now because I pushed it so hard to achieve my goal of graduating from college." Now that might seem a little dramatic to some people, but I contiually told my body that it couldn't fall apart on my yet because I really had to finish that semester or I really had to work mucho hours in order to pay for school. And my body wasn't perfect. It broke down bit by bit. By my last semester I was only able to manage four classes and working around fifteen hours a week. And even then I felt like I was falling apart at the seams. Over the years my ability to think and process seems to have diminished. My ability to concentrate has decreased. (and I am not joking) I know that classes get harder as you move up in college; however, it is not just there that my mind and memory have failed me. I've always had some difficulty with remembering things, but in recent years it has gotten worse. Now, I try not to focus too much of my time and attention on this aspect of my life, but it is true. I figure it is wound up in with my other medical problems...most especially I see it as a part of my fibromyalgia. At times I wonder if it is just normal to have this sort of difficulty with remembering things, but I do know that I had a sharper memory as a child, even in high school and my beginning years in college. My memorization skills are failing. I feel like I graduated from college but am not sure of my ability to do anything. Whether it is my mind or body getting in my way. (Yes, I know I've included a number of fragments in today's entry, but I like fragments and I feel like they express what I want them to. I apologize if they annoy or confuse you.)

Confidence is an area I continue to need to work on. I've decided to be done with the previous topic for today, but I shall probably revisit it in the future. Well, my left arm is beginning to complain that I have typed for too long. Or perhaps it is just hurting more and I'm wanting it to hurt less. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you may be pursuing at this time in your life. Amen. Amen. And Amen.