LOL...and so forth

You want to hear something funny? The other day I was taking a shower and I was so tired and out of it that I totally started putting shampoo on my face rather than my hair. Luckily I realized it before I got to close to my eyes, but it was rather funny. Last night I got stuff accomplished--yay! I have almost everything off my old computer, which is good. I kind of need more electronic storage space though so I can get the rest of it off. Then I am going to take it to DI, along with my old printer which needs work to be in working condition. I'm keeping my scanner though...totally keeping my scanner. I'd love to get it set up and scan things, but I don't have memory space yet or physical space either, but once I get rid of my old computer I should have both. Being at home I'm going to miss having access to InDesign and Photoshop. There is still a lot I'd like to learn about those programs, too, especially photoshop.

Today I went to the eye doctor...finally. It cost me a bunch of money, but soon I'll have nice new glasses--yay! It will be so nice to see clearly after four months of semi-bluriness. They have some really cool machines at the eye doctor's. They have this one that estimates your prescription and another one that measures the distance between your pupils and then, of course, the one that takes a picture of your eyes. Amazingness! I've also got a bit of cooking done in the last week or so. I need to keep it up as best I can 'cause I need to work on eating the food I have rather than buying more food. This way I will save money, which is definitely something I need to work on as much as possible.

I need to learn more about medicaid since that is really what I need to go on come fall. I have already spent like $2,000 in medical expenses this year...excluding paying for health insurance. It's a lot of money and it adds up. Also, I looked at my other options (which are limited) and they are completely unreasonable. I would be spending hundreds of dollars of month on top of the $200 monthly premium. There is just no way I can afford to pay that kind of money. Which is part of the reason I'm moving home...hopefully to recuperate. I figure I'll probably be there like 8 months or so. I'm planning to leave Utah on August 19--only two months away. I've got a lot to do between now and then. At some point I'm probably going to have to start asking people for help--difficult as that is.

I still need to write that blog on faeries. I will do it...eventually. It might not happen until I get out to Virginia, but it will happen. Well, I'm getting kind of hungry, so I better go get something to eat, especially since I have to be at work in less than an hour.

The Future

I hurt. I know that is nothing new but it remains to be true. So this morning I was thinking a bit about the future (aka this Fall). I've been feeling quite exhausted lately. This causes me to wonder a bit about my abilities...but at some point I need to move beyond that and find a new job...something I keep realizing is important for me to do before Fall. I'm barely making it financially as it is. When Fall hits my expenses will increase...which means I need to be bringing in more money at that point in order to have any hope of making ends meet. I had a dream last night where rent went up and so I was trying to find somewhere else to live...that is what prompted me to think about the future some more and on my current income, there is no way I'll make it. So, I need to job search and yet as of yet I am not motivated enough to go searching for a new job. Right now I have a job where I have customers and co-workers who care about me...that is going to be a bit hard to give up.

I feel kind of like my mind is rather blank...that could be caused by the tiredness and pain. Sometimes it is hard to push through life. Perhaps I just need a better attitude, as some people think. So, my friend just asked how I was doing and this was my response "I'm tired, I hurt, and I don't want to deal with life." And the wise response is "Life is never so bad that it can't get worse." So true, so true. But that doesn't necessarily make dealing life that much easier...maybe a bit. Life is what it is and I shall make it...somehow.

I like facebook and that it helps me keep in contact with my friends. I'm so tired. I wish I could just go back to sleep rather than facing a full day. Art is wonderful by the way. Anyways, life is crazy and I guess I'm pessimistic. Anyways. Life is what it is and I'll survive. Until next time.