Cross Stitching

I love cross-stitching! I find it enjoyable and relaxing. I like all the different patterns and of course all the various colors of embroidery floss. I found this cool website online that offers you free patterns everyday. If any of you go to http://cross-stitchers-club.com/?code_avantage=okyjcc and join I will receive points to access patterns from previous days. I'd love you forever if you did! (Although I'll probably love you forever if you don't). Cross-stitching does bother my arms some, but I'm trying to manage that with some exercises I learned from people who went through my line at Day's market and gave me advice on how to help my carpal tunnel. One of the persons who gave me advice was a massage therapist--I trust her advice the most, and it does help--which is good.

It is late and I need to get myself off to bed. But, I thought I'd let y'all know about one of my hobbies. Jenn reintroduced me to it and taught me how to be a competent cross-stitcher--Thanks Jenn!!!

Up and beyond...

So, I think it's about time to write another post. Nathan says my posts sound like me, so that's a good thing I think. I am discovering that it is kind of difficult to type on my laptop with two arm braces on...oh-well, I'll just have to do the best that I can. I'm not really sure what to write about. Any ideas? No, well, that's okay.

Sometimes I think I'm a rather silly person. You might wonder why I say this, but I'm not sure how much proof of it I'm willing to give you. I could start with some of my theories/hypotheses/ideas. I think it is reasonable to think that there is the possibility of there being more than one universe out there, far beyond our sight. That might sound unreasonable to you, but it makes sense in my mind. Emily Olson once told me that I have "uncommon" sense rather than common sense. At times I think she is right. I do realize that the very nature of the word "universe" denotes that there is only one, but that is just because men made up the word. There is so much out there we don't know. And as I've mentioned before, sometimes I can dream pretty big--the possibility of there being more than one universe being one of those.

I love the stars and galaxies...outer space in general. That is perhaps one of the reasons why I am so attracted to the genre of science fiction/fantasy (and that is my favorite genre). I have met people who have no curiosity about space, that stars, none of that! I love pictures of space. They are so wonderful and amazing and beautiful. I'd love to do paintings based on them someday. I love Gustav Holst's The Planets--amazing music!!! I especially love Jupiter Hymn--the French Horn part is absolutely beautiful. {Note: sorry if any of you reading this are editors or grammar Nazi's, while I did minor in editing...I'm more into substantive editing rather than copyediting, plus this blog is more about just writing, without allowing things--such as making grammar mistakes--to impede the flow of writing. The goal is to just write...and to not worry about perfection.}

Do you want to know something that is mildly annoying...the limited choices when it comes to the design of blog profiles. If I knew how, I'd make my own design, unfortunately I don't know how, so I deal with the choices I've got. I actually really like design. I would love to work in the art or production department of a book publisher. I think that would be pretty awesome, but who knows where I'll end up working. I mean, I enjoy working at Day's Market, but it is hard on my body and I need a "real" job, plus I really could use benefits...aka...health insurance. I really don't know what I am going to do come Fall when I can no longer be on the BYU extended health plan. No idea. Oh well. Hopefully I'll figure something out. I have a tinsy bit more time before then. No need to worry too much. (Yes, I'm a bit of a worry wort.)

I like how when I get started writing I can often write and write on and on...unless I'm completely out of it...and then who knows what you might get. I enjoyed band in high school (this might sound like a non sequitur to you, but the thing is I'm listening to music on the "Gustav Holst" station I just created on my Pandora radio accout and yeah...) I really like the sound of band music, and I've always wondered why we don't have more bands and band music...I mean there is plenty of music by orchestra's and I do know that they include the band insturments and the music is great, but it just isn't the same thing! I also really like marching band music. But back to band music, I'd love to get ahold of recordings of the music we played in high school as done by professionals and just in general, band music (sorry if I'm not explaining all of this very well).

My goal for this evening is to not fall asleep, 'cause if I do, then I won't be able to fall asleep tonight and the cycle begins once again... So, I need to decide what else I am going to do this evening. Some thought on the matter turns up ideas like designing the cross-stiching for presents for Jenn's baby, work on typing up my journals, put things in my personal history, and of course, reading. A movie always sounds delicious, too (In recent times I have found myself misapplying words that are associated with one sense or another and it just feels right, so if I use words as I did in the sentence I just wrote, well...I figure I'm not going to fight it since it feels like the right word). The "feel" of things that I pay attention to. This is not necessarily a tactile feeling, hence the quotation marks. It is more like the feeling evoked--the feel of things.

I don't like it when I start having pain in the collar bone area. It happens rather frequently though. I try to not spend too much time concerning myself with all the various aches and pains and wierdness I feel in my body, yet it still consumes a large amount of my thoughts. I used to be better at putting such things from my mind. But getting carpal tunnel caused an awakening. Things I assumed were normal or transitory ended up being something mildly serious. (One of my friends, Camilla, once told me that I'm rather whimsical...or actually I think she was refering to my artwork...but still...I'd never thought of it that way, but I find it fits or at least feels like a word that fits me.) It is interesting to watch and see how different thoughts and turns of conversation are triggered [to avoid using the passive tense I should have writtten the previous sentence as "I find it interesting to watch and see what triggers differnt thoughts and turns of conversation."] I once worked with a girl (Brittany, it was when I worked for the BYU Conference Center Custodial) who would trace back our conversations to see how we arrived at our end result. It was rather fascinating but not something I'd generally be willing to spend my time and energy on, especially since I sometimes my memory stuggles some. But at other times I can remember lots of random things and can remember some things really well. It is one of those kind of oximoron sort of things that become difficult to explain since they seem to condradict each other. Although, it often seems to me like lots of things seem to contradict each other and then I start getting confused and people tell me I'm making things harder than they really are. The end result...well, I'm not sure what the end result is, but you're probably getting tired of this post...so I guess I shall close with...Hmmm...what's a good closing statement...if it comes to me it probably won't be until some random time and then I'll forget it, so we'll just have to go with, bland/boring/usual/random/whatever--"When you wish upon a star..."

The Miracle of Life!

I just looked at pictures of one of my best friends and her new baby! Little Iain is SO cute. Babies are so wonderful--a lot of hard work, but wonderful all the same. I hope to one day have my own children. Hopefully by then I won't be in so much pain all the time, but even if I am, I'll make it. Life is such a wonderful and precious gift. It is springtime right now, a time of new growth, of renewal (and weddings and engagements...). Right now it is raining--I love the rain! (although I don't necessarily like the fact that I am in more pain when it is stormy weather...but I love the rain all the same...when I was little I changed the rhyme to Rain, rain, stay, stay, stay, stay until another day).

This morning I did not want to get out of bed. But I did. So, that is a good thing. Last night I went to a friend's house for a Mary Kaye facial. I enjoyed it, and a lot of things we learned make sense, but it also requires a lot of time and money (at least from my perspective). Many people are successful in their lives. Right now I generally feel kind of like I am floundering. At times I do have hope for better things (that is how I feel right now...I think it is related to seeing the pictures of Jenn, Brian, and Iain). I don't know what life will bring me. I'm not quite sure how to plan for whatever will come. But, as long as I put my trust and faith in the Lord, I should be fine.

I'm sorry that you are having to hear this so much, but I hurt! Yesterday I asked my doctor about the new medicine I'm on and he said about now is when it should start to kick in and that in a month or so will be when it plateaus. So, it is more of the waiting game until we can see how much help this medicine gives me. He also looked at the x-rays of my knees and showed me how there is really a lot of inflammation in there...no wonder my knees hurt! Hopefully the medicine will help relieve the inflammation. I told him that my right arm carpal tunnel is getting bad again. He was a bit surprised. So, he said we'd look at it again at my next appointment and if I was still having troubles with it he'd give me another cortisone shot. He doesn't think I'll have more problems with my left arm since it isn't as bad and my right arm. Well, it is time for me to go to my internship with Rick Walton :) So, until next time...(maybe I'll entertain you then with some of my crazy notions and theories).

Bothersome

So, I did go to sleep. Unfortunately, I only slept for a few hours before waking up. After spending two and a half hours trying to fall back asleep, listening to my Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack twice, I have given up for the nonce. Good news though, my friend Jenn Bott had her baby--he was born around 8:55 PM, which is kind of ironic because just around that time I was thinking about her and I even mentioned to my friends that I wondered if she'd had her baby yet. I am so excited for her and I can't wait to see her baby (although I'm sure when I'll be able to go visit her, but hopefully sooner than later). I need to get to work on my cross-stitch baby presents for her. She is actually the one who taught me how to cross stitch, more or less. I love cross-stitching! I generally find it very relaxing and if I cross-stitch while watching a movie it helps me feel productive.

I predict that I will be tired tomorrow/today. I have my doctor's appointment in the morning (and I really hope that corisone shot helps, although it will take a few days). Not that I am trying to self diagnose, but I think I may have restless leg syndrome (RLS, just another to add to the list, I know). My mom's cousin Mary, from whom I learned about Fibromyalgia, has it. I believe my parents thought I might have RLS too, but I was more concerned about understanding my pain and fatigue. But I really do think I have it. I just looked at the symptoms list and yeah. It would also explain the random tingling sort of sensations I've been noticing in my legs recently. I wonder who I'd talk to in order to get diagnosed with it. At some point I need to meet with my primary physician. She's pretty amazing. And she has helped me a lot over the past five years. I'm going to be sad when I have to go find a new doctor (since I can't keep her as my doctor after I get off my current insurance and I'll only be able to have it through August of this year). I am not looking forward to doctor shopping, although I'm sure I'll be limited in some ways by what insurance I end up with.

I'm starting to think I should really find out if I have any sleeping disorders, just for my peace of mind if nothing else. Well, I set up an appointment with my primary care physician. Maybe we can see if we can do something about my sleep. It is something we discussed during my last visit, and I know my sleep hygiene isn't the best ever, but my body not allowing me to sleep at night is just getting plain annoying. If it were a little later I'd call and talk with my parents, and while they are probably awake right now, I don't want to put them behind on their morning routine.

Pain, pain, go away and don't come again another day. No, I know this is my lot in life and I accept that for the most part, but it doesn't change the fact that at times it is difficult to deal with. I'm sure I agreed to these trial in the pre-existence, so I find it reasonable that I should try to endure them cheerfully, but still. "Smile" is my motto even if I don't always live by it.

So, people say they can spend hours on facebook, and I can too, but recently I haven't found it as compelling an attraction. And what to do now. Do I attempt sleep once again, even though I'm not feeling sleepy? Do I pull out a book and read? Spend time picking my fav 5s on facebook? I guess I could keep writing in here, but I think my mental power is waning. Looks like it's time for facebook quizzes... And universe, be kind.