Miscellany

So, I've been wanting to write a new post for awhile, but never got around to it. I've been reading posts from other blogs and I had ideas as I read them...but of course I immediately forgot them. Ah, well. Se la vi. Maybe listening to some music will help me think of what to write--but I need to keep it short since I want to try to go to bed earlier-ish.

What do you dream about and of? I dream of oh so many things. I dream of moving back to Utah. I dream of one day being married and having kids. I dream of writing books.

You know, as I look back on my life, I remember that I was once an active kid. Quite active.

I love books! I love book design. I have enjoyed volunteering for SVU's literary magazine--The Review.

Sometimes Academia really annoys me.

This year I'm trying to read a little in the Ensign every day. I am developing greater appreciation for the Ensign. I really enjoy reading in it.

That's all for the nonce.

New Years is Coming...

Today I spent the day in dreamland--literally. I have many dreams, hopes, and goals for the new year. For example, I'd like to earn money--that's a goal, and a hope. I dream of moving back to Provo. I have a goal to exercise two to three times a week. And many more. But all of these seem hard, almost overwhelming when looked at in the context of my life. Now, I'm sure I have a tendency to make problems appear where there are none, and I know I allow my fears to trip me up...I know it's silly to let life overwhelm me like it so often does. What I need to do is have patience and trust in the Lord. Yet I can't leave everything up to the Lord.

I did achieve one goal this month--I made, in time for Christmas, presents for each person in my family that would be home (I still have to make Byron's).
My arms and entire body hurt much more than they did a month ago, but I accomplished something and proved to myself that I am not a complete coward and wimp. However, I am still in a quandary as to how far I can reasonably push myself.

Lately I've played a lot of the game Jungle Jewels. I've actually been playing it as I write this post, whenever I get to a point where I'm not sure what to say next...like right now:)

It feels good to work towards and accomplish a goal, but sometimes I need help beyond my own. Yet, I can't expect daily, or even biweekly help from people. Unfortunately it is too much to ask for continuous help. Life gets busy, things happen, and so I need to be my own help, I guess. My own champion. Rewards can help, but it works better when it comes from an outside source. Punishments are even harder.

Now I'm playing on Pixiehollow.com :>) I love how beautiful Pixie Hollow is!



I've frittered away the day in sleep and the evening in play, but perhaps tonight I can get something done (like starting work on Byron's Christmas present) while I watch TV and movies. Before I do that though, I want to do some indexing (indexing.familysearch.org)

As I've done blog mining for Rick Walton, I've not found blogs with lots of writing advice and links, I've also discovered how awesome blogs can be. I've looked at some pretty nice ones. All the ones I've been looking at I've found though www.asuen.com/blog/blogroll.shtml.

I really like Marcia Lynn McClure's books. Lately I've been in the mood for them. I'd love to buy more of her books, but I'm broke, so I'll just have to reread the ones I have:) They are not the most literary of books, but they are fun and enjoyable to read. Plus they make me happy:) She is such a fun and happy person:) I like buying her ebooks since I get them almost immediately. But I also really like physical copies of her books too. But enough about Marcia (www.marcialynnmcclure.com/).

I really do want to get some indexing done before I start watching tv and movies for the night. So to you I shall say "good night." :)

Navigation...Navigating...Navigated...

I've decided I need to get some pictures on my blog, particularly one of me. Which, actually wasn't why I decided to write a new blog post, although photography is a hobby of mine, though I'm not particularly splendid at it. But, why I decided to write, now doesn't seem as demanding a subject, which is a poor reflection on me since I was going to write about the death of a high school boy in my community. It is sad, especially since he has a twin brother, but in my defense I do not know them and am actually fairly removed from the Buena Vista community at the moment. It is rather sad, I know. I think losing someone so close to you, such as a twin would be difficult. I don't have much understanding when it comes to people dying since death hasn't really touched my life much. And, I must admit, that do kind of have a skewed vision of death. See, I moved a number of times as a child. And in general all the people that were near and dear to my heart at the time were separated from me, I had no more contact with them, and while there is always a slim chance that I'd meet them again--it was and is slim. And so in a way, moving is like death. You are no longer in contact, your lives have gone in separate directions. It is true what they say: "You can't go back to when you were happy." All you can do is move forward, though the past will always be a part of you.

In this modern age we have many more ways to keep in contact, and it does help. I mean earlier I was reading Camilla's blog and it was almost like have her near for a moment. Not as wonderful as seeing her in person, but certainly an uplift. But even then, it is pretty much impossible to stay in contact with everyone. It's not that I don't care for people, it's just...I don't even know. I do what I can, I try. I don't know what my future holds. I really have like no clue. It's kind of like walking into the dark and not being sure what's there. It's a bit frightening, though I do not fear per se, since I know the Lord will guide me, but it's kind of scary nonetheless. Plus, I have to do my part and I'm not completely sure what that is exactly, but I'm trying. I do spend a lot of time in pursuits that are perhaps not the most productive of activities. But, I am trying to get better and I am trying to figure out how to navigate my life.

I have many dreams and hopes for the future. I have the future I'd like tucked away in my heart. I would love to be a wife, mother, and author. However, at the moment I am not really close to achieving any of those goals/dreams. So, I'm trying to figure out how to make money to support myself. I have a BA in English. I did minor in editing, and I enjoy book layout and design. I would like to learn more about design and whatnot and have even started considering getting a degree in Graphic Design. Book design is something I enjoy and something that could possibly work out as a job for me. That is good. It all sounds good, right? So, why do I hesitate...well, for one thing, education costs money. I need money in order to get another degree. Getting a degree takes time, thus limiting the time I have to earn money in. If I moved back to Utah Valley, which would be my preference, I'd like to return to interning for Rick Walton, I'd want to got to Leading Edge at least once a week--preferably more, I'd like to work at the temple, and I could always see about interning for Cedar Fort's production department.

And all that doesn't even throw my health issues into the equation. My doctor once asked me if I was sure I could work 40 hours a week. At the time I told her "what other choice is there?" However, since then, I've moved home, because I literally couldn't work enough hours to pay my bills. And I'm really not sure if I could work 40 hours a week. I'd like to think I could. I mean, one summer I worked 60 hours a week the entire summer...unfortunately I believe doing things like that, may have contributed to my body's increased complaints of recent years. Sometimes I wonder if my knowledge of some of what is wrong with me hinders my ability to cope with and navigate through life. Is it "all in my mind"? I'm not sure I have an answer.

Miscellani

I had some crazy dreams last night. Right now, instead of going to my internship early, I'm staying and watching Brian Regan. LOL. He's actually pretty funny. Today will be my last Saturday night working at Day's! After that I have two more day's of work and then I have to get to major league packing and whatnot. I am really starting to look forward to driving across the country and to seeing my friends. Doesn't relaxing sound so wonderful. It will be interesting to see what my SED rate is, especially since my knees were killing me yesterday and whatnot. I'm don't think the cortisone shot they gave me on Monday helped that much, it didn't really make the pain any better, but maybe it lowered my SED rate.

It seems like there was something else I was going to write about...oh, right. Last night I went to Marcia Lynn McClure's meet and greet in Orem. It was a long wait, but worth it. I totally bought two more of here books, even though I really can't afford it. I need to work on the whole buying things I can't afford. Oh, yesterday Rick Walton called me his assistant:). I enjoy working with him. I hope he still emails me stuff to do even when I'm in VA. My back is hurting right now:(, among other things. I still have lots of things to do before I move. I have gotten quite a bit done (in part due to the great help of friends), and getting everything else done will require lots of help from others, but I do need to try and get stuff done that only I can do. I've been on an NCIS kick lately. And I've given in to it a lot since I've been pretty worn out and hurting lately.

I am going to miss Leading Edge. I am also going to miss access to InDesign. I continually realize how much I love doing book layout and design! I guess I should really get going. But, yeah. Life's good despite life's various pitfalls. Until next time...au revoir

It's late

Hi, it's late and I should probably get ready for bed soon. But it's been awhile since I've written, so I decided to take a moment to write. My life is going to be changing soon. I'm moving in two weeks. That is really not that much time when you think about it. I have goals for when I get home. Number one is to work on sleep. Some of the others are Writing!, nutrition, health in general, and who knows what else. Oh, I'd like to do more scanning of Family History stuff, and Mom and Dad's photos. My doctor wasn't horribly pleased to see that my SED rate is back up to 30. But...well, that's just kind of how my life goes. Which is okay. I really should go to bed soon, 'cause I'm hungry and I do want to go to the temple tomorrow since it is about the only free time I have to go this week. Which reminds me, I need to email Rick Walton to let him know when I can work this week.

I have many dreams in life. I'm not sure how many of them will be fulfilled (or in what way/how different from what I might imagine) but that's okay...you know what they say about reaching for the stars. I enjoy book layout and design. I really do enjoy it. InDesign is one of my all time favorite computer programs. The internet is pretty awesome too.

I can't let myself stress out. I was a bit earlier. It is easy to do. Very easy. But, that's okay. The powercord for my laptop died yesterday (there was a blue spark, and then nothing) so I got a new one, it's not quite as great as my last one, but it will do, it will do. I really should go to bed. I am feeling rather tiredish despite the nap I took earlier today. It's nice to have friends.

Until next time.................

The midnight hour

So, I think I'm going to write a blog post, even though it's like midnight. If I were a more reasonable person I'd be going to bed right now, or at the very least getting ready for bed, but I am not the most reasonable person, so instead I'm writing a blog post--who knows about what...I guess we'll find out. If you were me what would you write about? On Friday I went to my friend Tori's wedding reception--it was nice. I drove out to Wales, UT where it was held. That was a tinsy bit of an adventure...although lately, me driving in general has often been a bit of an adventure...not that I want my driving privileges hampered in any way, but there were definitely times when I really should not have been on the road. I really need to find out how much I owe my rheumatologist and then get that bill paid. I figure once I get paid on Thursday, then I'll be able to pay that bill.

Did I ever mention that I am a hopeless romantic? Well, I am. Have I ever mentioned that I am good at misplacing things? Well, I am, especially at misplacing or losing pens. It's a good thing i have a whole stock pile of them from working custodial at the BYU Conference Center and Wilk. I must especially thank all those EFY kids. I like the EFY t-shirts this year--you can't tell their EFY shirts until close up...before that they look like any sort of designer shirts. Anyway...that's just something I noticed when I was on campus yesterday.

I think my sleep med is starting to kick in and my thought process is becoming more sluggish. I think I'll go to bed soon. I didn't sleep well last night, and I had some crazy dreams...not unusual, but crazy and detailed nonetheless. Well, i should go to bed since I have at least a semi busy day tomorrow. Until next time...Au revoir