When Do You Ask For Help?

Today I read an excellent blog post by a friend. Reading it prompted me to ponder a number of things, but the one I want to discuss here is asking for help. It is a topic I frequently think about. I feel like I have always had a hard time asking for help, and I hear lots of other people saying the same thing. So, I have some questions for you:

How do you decide when to ask for help?
How often do you feel it is okay to ask for help?
How much help is it okay to ask for?
What kinds of things is it okay to ask for help with?

Often when I think about these questions, I feel like I just need to find a way to make things work on my own (which just writing that sounds like completely the wrong way to look at things, and yet it is my automatic and ingrained response). I feel like I need to learn to prioritize better. And I feel like I am in constant need of help, which prompts the second question.

I also feel like I need to find ways to make it so that I do not feel in need of help as often. For the past few months, I have struggled facing doing dishes because by the time I finish washing a load of dishes, I am in a decent amount of pain. So, I bought scrubber brush that I can use to wash a dish or two when I feel up to it. This helps the dishes not pile up as fast. That is a positive solution that helps me feel less of a need to ask for help from others. However, all it takes is one cooked meal for there to be an overwhelming (to me) amount of dishes. Thinking about that then has me thinking that I just need to learn how to not be overwhelmed. But it also has me once again reflecting on when it is okay to ask for help and how often it is okay to ask for help. There is value in being self reliant, but I guess I'm not always sure where the border is between being self reliant and when it is okay to ask for help.

The comparison game also pops up in regards to asking for help. I will tell myself that there are so many others that need help much more than me. Or I will think that everyone else faces similar things, so I just need to learn how to make do like everyone else (which is an all or nothing sort of thinking).

This past week, I even got some help from family and friends. And it was so great. But then there is still so much more that weighs on me, so much more I feel needs to be done, so much more where I wonder if perhaps it would be okay if I asked for some help.

And so, my friends, I would love your input. I realize this is a balancing act that we are all likely in the process of trying to figure out, but if you have any thoughts on the subject, I would love to hear them.

Depression and Anxiety

This is a hard post for me to write. In general, I do not talk about my depression (diagnosed) and anxiety (undiagnosed). I am a bit of a perfectionist and try to put on a good front no matter how I am feeling. But, I feel compelled to write this post and feel like the Lord wants me to write and share it. So I am. I hope this post can help someone.

Before I go further, I want to emphasize that I am okay. Please do not take this post as a cry for assistance or an invitation to tell me what I need to do. Each day is a struggle, but I am getting through using methods that are working for me. 

I have struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my life. This fall, my depression and anxiety have been worse than the usually are when seasonal affective disorder hits me, even worse than last year when they were worse than usual. I have noticed thoughts that I identified in college as trigger signs that depression is hitting hard. I learned back then not to entertain those thoughts and to work to immediately throw them out. So that is what I am working to do now. I also have found the following strategies helpful:

• A happy light - I bought mine last February, and it has been a big help. While doing NaNoWriMo last month, sometimes the only way I could keep myself writing was having the light on while I wrote. 
• Prayer and Scripture study - These daily practices help me stay connected to the Lord. It may not solve everything, but it is a huge help.
• Bliss drink - A family member recently recommended this drink to me. I tried it, and it does help reduce my feelings of overwhelming stress.
• Hugs from my husband - I have heard that hugging can provide all sorts of good benefits. In my case, a hug from my husband often helps calm me down and lift my spirits.
• Hobbies - Sometime participating in hobbies, even if I do not feel like doing so at the moment, can help lift me somewhat out of a funk. I have been pushing myself this week to cross-stitch for my business, and I have found the the cross-stitch helps soothe me.
• Music - Sometimes I like listening to calming classical music, and sometimes I like listening to more peppy Broadway songs. Listening to music often helps calm me down or lift my mood.
• Essential oils - Lately I have been putting a drop of lavender oil on my temples. It helps calm me down.
• Setting things aside - Sometimes it is not worth it to try and face something, so I set it aside to face another day or time. Do somethings continually remain undone? Yes. But I feel my personal sanity is more important than getting everything done that is on my never ending to do list. 
• Checking in - Each night my husband asks how I did that day. Usually I answer with just a word or two, "pretty good" or "I did okay." However, checking in with him each night provides a safety net, and gives me a chance to evaluate how I did that day. 

I am sure there are other things that I am doing that help me, but those are what come to mind. You might wonder why I do not having counselling and medicine on my list. I have tried those before and had some good results, but mostly not as great results. I feel like I am getting by all right without them for now, so unless I feel they are absolutely necessary, I will continue on as I am. 

Dealing with depression and anxiety is not particularly fun. I often feel angry and upset. Frequently I feel like crying, and I am not one to cry. I feel lethargic. I feel overwhelmed. I feel on the brink of metaphorically falling off a cliff. I am hoping that the symptoms will ease come spring. But no matter what, I have faith that I can make it through. And I am trying each day. Below is a short poem I wrote just before writing this blog post. My hope for us all is that we can keep trying. 

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like crying,

Sometimes I feel like dying,

But I will keep trying.

NaNoWriMo 2016: Sleeping Beauty Spin-Off

For NaNoWriMo this year, I have chosen to work on a story I've already started—my Sleeping Beauty Spin-off. I have worked on this story on and off over the last few years. Actually. the genesis for this idea came back when I was in high school. My friend Amanda and I decided to try to write a story together. That is where the seeds of this story idea began.

I have over 26,000 words written on the story so far, but there is much of the story to tell. So, I will create a new document, start from where I am, and work to get 50,000 more words written on it this November. This November is already shaping up to be quite busy, but I will do my best to reach the goal of 50,000 words written in November.

Poetry Again

I'm writing poetry again. It has been a few years since I've dabbled in poetry.

The other day I read an article in a magazine published by my church. The article talked about managing negative emotions. One of the suggestions was to find productive ways to express negative feelings. I am using poetry. I won't be dealing with just negative emotions in my poetry; however, it is cathartic to release negative emotions via poetry.

Having started writing poetry again, snippets of poems flow through my mind periodically throughout the day. Most will likely never been written down. As for the poems that do get written down, at this point I don't plan on polishing them. For now, they are a release, a way to deal with the stresses, and joys, of life.

Reading the Classics

Recently I decided to get back into reading classic books. I used to do it all the time, especially during college (since I was an English major). But I haven't read any recently. While I was in college, during the summer I would have the goal to read at least one classic book. For example, one summer I read Anna Karenina. I loved it. 

So this summer, I have set the same goal—to read at least one classic book this summer. I am currently reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. And I am liking it. At times it is hard to put it down. In many ways it is quite different than the books I have been reading. For example, I come across words I am unfamiliar with. I'm reading an electronic version (yay for free ebooks), so I can just tap on the screen and get the definition of the words I am unfamiliar with. It's quite handy. There are other differences, in the way the prose flows, etc. But it is a good different. I look forward to the journey of reading this book.

Note: To learn more about the bookmark in the image, you can look at this post from my other blog.

NaNoWriMo 2015 Winner

I did it. I wrote 50,000 words on Tania's gift in the month of November, and reached my goal of finishing by Thanksgiving. A lot of things got pushed to the side, a lot of reward chocolate was consumed, and the story the story took a lot of unexpected turns, but I won NaNoWriMo. The story is not finished yet. I plan to keep working on it, though I have honestly not worked on it since I won. I need to rectify that...

NaNoWriMo 2015: Tania's Gift

So, I'm doing NaNoWriMo again this year. I did it two years ago. But not last year. I was too overwhelmed with everything I had going on. I kind of wished I had once I saw friends posting the cool winners certificate. But that's okay. 

Over the past month, I have been brainstorming for this year's NaNoWriMo. It is an idea that has been sitting in my file of story ideas for quite some time. It is about a young woman who can feel what other people are feeling by touching them. A man from another kingdom comes to request that she come to his kingdom for some reason. I wracked my brains for an idea of why she was needed in the other kingdom. I finally came up with an idea, and I like it. But I'm not going to share it yet...stay tuned.

I would like to incorporate some fairy tales into my story, so if you want to help, share some ideas of fairy tales that prominently feature princes.

November is going to be one crazy month, but by the end I plan to have written 50,000 words on my story of Tania's Gift.

P.S. To warm up, I've been writing more of my Sleeping Beauty Spin-off. I'll get that finished one of these days.

Modified NaNoWriMo

So, this year I am doing my own version of NaNoWriMo. I knew I could not put my life on hold like I practically did last year to get 50,000 words written. So, I set my own goal, one I felt would challenge me but not be too much. So the goal I'm working at it to double the word count in my Sleeping Beauty Spin-off. On October 31 I had 12,735 written. So, my goal is to have at least 25,470 words total by the end of the month. I'm doing pretty good. I've written anywhere from 0 to 1,133 words in a day, but I average around 500 words per day. I am happy with my progress and do believe I will reach my goal despite being busy and tired. I am enjoying working on this project again. It brings me happiness and I feel accomplished when I reach my daily goal.

Crafts and Cinderella

So, there are a couple things I wanted to write about today.

One, I recently created another blog: kebstudiocreations.blogspot.com. On that blog I will be writing about all sorts of creative and crafty things, like cross-stitching, sewing, art, scrapbooking, etc. This blog will continue to me mostly about my life and writing. So, take a moment to check out my other blog if you haven't already.

Second, I finally finished the rough draft of my Cinderella spin-off, which was my NaNoWriMo novel from last year. It ended up being just over 74,000 words long. It will need LOTS of revision, but at least the first draft is complete. This is actually the first full draft of a novel I've ever written! It is a good achievement, though one I planned on achieving years ago. But, I have made the progress I have made, and that is good.

This year I plan to participate in NaNoWriMo, but probably not to the full extent. Life has gotten busier, and I don't know that I can put everything off to the side for a month like I did last year. I might do it but set a lower goal, or I might continue working on a novel I've started previously and just try to write some each day. I'm not sure yet. We'll see.

NaNoWriMo Winner

I did it! I wrote 50,000 words on a new novel. Writing 50,000 words in a month was not easy. A lot of things got pushed to the back burner in order to make time to write. And, I don't think I would have made it through the month without a lot of help from the Lord and my husband, Jason, who also did NaNoWriMo. I offered many prayers when I felt stuck, unfocused, or discouraged. Jason doing NaNoWriMo helped me to keep going as did his encouragement.

Throughout the month, we found ways to reward ourselves for reaching our daily goals, often in the form of yummy goodies like Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes. I also started doing a reward system of five peanut M-n-Ms for every 500 words I wrote, some days that kept me going. NaNoWriMo suggests a target average daily word count goal of 1,667 words. We set our daily goal (for most days) at 2,000, since we didn't work on our novels on Sundays and since we wanted to finish by Thanksgiving (which we did). Here is a chart showing what my daily word counts looked like, with the line showing what would be on par for the day to finish by the end of the month.

So, while I had days of discouragement, days where I didn't get much written, I did do it, and I learned a number things. One thing I learned is how to tone down my internal editor. I knew what I was writing was certainly not the best ever written. I knew I was ignoring tons of writing advice that I have received of the years. But, I also knew I would not get the 50,000 words written if I kept listening to my internal editor. So, I told my internal editor to go away. Sometimes I had to do it repeatedly, but I got easier as the month went on. I focused on writing, often whatever came to mind, rather than worrying about whether or not it was good writing. If I thought to write something, I wrote it, even if it took me on a tangent I hadn't planned on. This is likely why I didn't finish the novel in the 50, 000 words, as I expected to do at the beginning of the month. So, even though I haven't finished the novel yet, my goal is to finish it by the end of the year.

Which leads me to something else I learned from doing NaNoWriMo: I can write more words in a day than I thought possible. Earlier this year I was working on a goal to write out my Sleeping Beauty Spin-off. I would work on writing a couple days a week and often only write a couple hundred words each time. But now, my goal is to write 500 words per day. I am going to finish the Cinderella Spin-off I did for NaNoWriMo first, but then I am going to go back to my Sleeping Beauty Spin-off and see if I can finish writing it too. I know I can, I just have to put in the effort. It will be a little harder with the Sleeping Beauty spin-off, since I was working so hard to craft it. But it is better to get it written and then rework it than to never finish it.

Another thing I learned from NaNoWriMo is how helpful music, especially the right type of music, can be while writing. I often listen to music while I write, but sometimes I don't. Often I pick a nice movie soundtrack. I did this during NaNoWriMo, but one day I was just stuck. I was writing a ball scene and nothing I chose to listen to seemed to help. Then Jason suggested I listen to Strauss. It was perfect! It was exactly what I needed and helped get the idea flowing. So, taking a few minutes to try to find the right mood music is definitely a worthwhile use of time when writing a novel.

I know there are more things I learned over this past month, but I think I'll leave it at this.

Yay for NaNoWriMo!

Being Brave

So, I've decided to do NaNoWriMo this year. For those of you who might not know what it is, it stands for National Novel Writing Month. It occurs every year in November and the goal is to write a full novel (50,000 words) in that month. It is not necessarily meant to be good. But it is meant to get you writing. I've wanted to participate since I learned about it, but have always found one reason or another why it wouldn't work that year. But I've decided to put my fears and excuses aside and just do it. And Jason's thinking of joining in too, so that will be fun.

The Ripple Effect Romance Novella Series

I read about these books from a couple blogs I follow. They look really good. The authors are trying to earn some money to help them in the publishing process. A worthy cause. Take a look and see what you think. I know they are not everyone's cup of tea, but I would like to read them. 

The Ripple Effect Romance Novella Series 
Enjoy this exciting new series of clean novellas by six critically-acclaimed authors.

"Like a pebble tossed into calm water, a simple act can ripple outward and have a far-reaching effect on those we meet, perhaps setting a life on a different course—one filled with excitement, adventure, and sometimes even love."

Book 1: Home Matters by Julie N. Ford
Book 2: Silver Linings by Kaylee Baldwin
Book 3: Righting A Wrong by Rachael Anderson
Book 4: Lost and Found by Karey White
Book 5: Second Chances 101 by Donna K. Weaver
Book 6: Immersed in Love by Jennifer Griffith

Home Matters by Julie N. Ford

According to her mother, Olivia Pembroke was born to be a star. But how is she supposed to be famous when she can't even get a decent acting gig? Her lucky break comes when she lands an audition for a wildly popular home improvement show. Even though she has no design training and has never even held a power tool, she refuses to let that stop her. She's confident that her destiny is finally within reach.

When her affections are torn between her heartthrob co-host and the irritating, yet somehow endearing lead contractor, does she continue to reach for the stars? Or does she design a new happily ever after? One that leads not to the fading lights of fame and fortune, but to a love that will burn forever.

Silver Linings by Kaylee Baldwin

Drew Westfall wants nothing more than to forget what he had to do in the name of "smart" business. Cutting off all ties with his parents—including handing over the entire contents of his trust fund to a charity—he takes off for Bridger, Colorado where his best friend has an extra room for him. It doesn't take long for him to realize that his business degree won’t do him much good in a town as small as Bridger, but he's broke and has nowhere else to go.

Eden Torresi has every reason to wallow. Not only did she lose her mother, but she had to drop out of nursing school and is in a relationship with a guy unwilling to commit. But Eden isn't the wallowing type. Instead, she chooses to spend most of her time taking care of the seniors at Silver Linings Nursing home. When she learns that her boyfriend's new roommate is down on his luck, her caring nature makes her want to reach out to him and offer what help she can. But the more time they spend together, the more complicated things get, especially when the seniors of Silver Linings decide to play matchmaker.

Righting a Wrong by Rachael Anderson

Seven years ago, Cambri Blaine fled her small hometown of Bridger, Colorado after her senior year ended in a fiasco. Only Jace Sutton knew the real reason why—that she was a spineless coward. Now, seven years later, her father's been in an accident and needs help, and Cambr has no choice but to return home. So with trepidation, she takes a leave of absence from the landscape architecture firm where she works and boards a plane, hoping against hope that Jace is no longer around and that the past can stay where it belongs—in the past.

If only life worked that way.

Jace never expected to see Cambri again. After she’d led him on, bruised his heart, and left town without a backward glance, he was forced to pick up the pieces and try not to hate her for it. Eventually, he put it behind him and moved on, creating a life for himself in his beloved hometown. But now that Cambri is back and looking more beautiful and sophisticated than ever, some of those old feelings resurface, and Jake instinctively knows, for the sake of his heart, that he needs to avoid her at all costs.

If only it were that easy.

Lost and Found by Karey White

Lydia was supposed to have an adventurous and exciting summer. Instead she's done nothing more than read and eat takeout. Now it's time to go home, and what does she have to show for it? A big fat nothing. Unless, of course, her trip to the airport somehow turns into something more than just a flight home.

Blake feels like he's been sent on a wild goose chase. While work is piling up back in Denver, he's on the other side of the country, hunting for some mysterious box that his grandfather left him. Well, no more. Nothing inside that box could possibly be more important than the opportunity to make it as the youngest partner at his firm. So he's going home, and that's that. But that's before he discovers his flight has been cancelled.

When these two strangers meet at the airport, they make a split-second decision to search for the box together. Maybe with both of them on the hunt, Lydia can have her adventure and Blake can find the box. And maybe, if they’re lucky, they’ll even find some romance.

Second Chances 101 by Donna K. Weaver

Thirty seven year old Francie Davis, a recent widow and empty nester, gets to attend college at last. She’s sure her luck has changed when she also lands a job on campus that will pay her tuition, as administrative assistant to a history professor. When her handsome new boss yells at her on the first day of work, Francie worries she will never be good enough.

For Professor Alex Diederik, life is going downhill fast. Not only is his bitter ex-wife trying to poison their only daughter against him, but now his one place of solace—his work environment—is being complicated by his attractive new administrative assistant. She drives home his feelings of failure as a husband and father, and Alex wonders if hiring her was the right thing to do.

Francie will have to put aside her hurt and insecurities or risk her dreams, while Alex must look outside himself if he’s to mend the breach with his daughter. And, perhaps, find someone who can help heal his pain.

Immersed in Love by Jennifer Griffith

Lisette Pannebaker speaks five languages and has a brilliant business plan—personal language immersion. Clients can hire her to shadow them and speak all day in any language they need to learn for business or travel—whatever.

But there’s a major hitch: she’s far too pretty. Clients with less than honorable intentions sign up just have Lisette at their side. Solution? A make-under. Way under.It works like a charm. None of her male clients show her the least bit of interest.

Until… Erik.

Erik Gunnarsson is charming, kind, and smart—everything she’s ever looked for. Even though he seems to have a secret and she swore she'd never date a client, Lisette is tempted to shed her disguise—even if it means jeopardizing her career.



Giveaway Details
$25 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash
Ends 10/31/13

Bloggers who put up a spotlight post about these books on their blog can enter to win an additional $25 gift card or paypal cash.  See details in the Rafflecopter.

Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader, Not A Writer and sponsored by the authors. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.


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Busy, Busy, Busy

Life is busy right now. Busy and a bit exhausting. So what is going on in my life, you might ask. Well...

In July I made my Etsy store live. You can see it here. That was one of my New Year Resolutions. And I did it! Now to maintain and update it. I have a number of jewelry items already made that I want to add to it, but that I need to photograph and create listings for. I am also working on some Christmas items to add to it, hopefully sometime in September. I am also considering starting a blog to chronicle my adventures in this exciting endeavor. Stay tuned to see if it actually happens, and if I can keep it updated once I've created it.

What else is keeping me busy? I now have two part-time jobs. That keeps me busy, and I end up plenty tired at the end of the day. I enjoy both jobs.

I also for the past month went and swam laps three mornings a week. I thoroughly enjoyed that despite the fact that it meant I had to wake up early to do so. But now that is over, and I need to find some other way of getting exercise in (something I struggle with).

Because I have been so busy, my writing has really taken a hit. I have only written 27 words in my Sleeping Beauty Spin-off in the past month. For awhile I was making really good progress. I even wrote a blog post about it, but that unfortunately got lost in the ether before I could post it - sad day. My stated New Year Resolution was to finish the first draft of this book this year. My mental goal, which felt more reasonable, was to get through chapter 10 by the end of the year - something that is still attainable since I am currently at the beginning of chapter 8. I just need to take time and work on it, at least once in awhile.

While I am not getting much creative writing done, I am getting book reviews written. I've started writing book reviews for I Am A Reader Not A Writer. You can see a post introducing me as a reviewer here. I would definitely recommend following her blog. She has lots of awesome author interviews, book giveaways, and of course book reviews. I am enjoying reviewing books for her blog. It's fun. :)

I also keep busy helping out in the Nursery at church, attempting to keep up with housework, spending time with family and friends, and spending as much time as I can with my husband before the semester starts and he gets busier. And that is my busy life in a nutshell.

Progress

While working on writing in my Sleeping Beauty Spin-off today, I mused that it is likely that a good portion of what I am currently writing will never make it to the final draft. I can't help but thinking that the current pace of the novel may be too slow. But, I will not let that deter me. I shall continue writing, continue discovering the story.

Speaking of discovering the story, I have enjoyed seeing Jason work on the novel he is writing. Seeing him write and discover encourages me to write and feeds the sparks of desire to write that resides within me. He tends to get more written than I do, but that is okay by me. I will just keep plodding along at my slow pace and just keep trying to improve. My goal for this week is to write at least twice, even if it is only a 100 words each time.

A New Year Resolution

It is a new year, and with it comes New Year Resolutions. My family has a tradition where we make a gingerbread house. We go around the room stating New Years Resolutions. After we say a resolution we get to break off and eat a piece of the gingerbread house. This is one of my favorite family traditions and one that gets me to New Years Resolutions.

Now, one of my goals for 2013 is to finish the first draft of the Sleeping Beauty spin-off that I am working on. When I set the goal I honestly had reservations about my ability to complete this goal, thinking that perhaps reaching chapter 10 of the draft would be a more reasonable goal (I'm working on chapter 3 right now), but I set the lofty goal all the same. The following Monday for Family Home Evening Jason, my husband, decided we should plan out how we were going to accomplish our goals for the year.

I was a bit daunted and overwhelmed by how to figure out how to accomplish this goal. In the past I have tried setting an amount of time to write. That didn't work too well and was difficult to track. I just wasn't sure how to do it. Then Jason showed me how he'd set up his goals. He'd split them up into steps. Do this in the first quarter of the year, expand on in second and so forth. That idea caught hold and my plan was born - start in the first quarter writing once a week, and then increasing the days of writing per week each quarter. I think this might work. At this point, writing at least once a week can be challenging with my busy schedule, but the two times I have sat down and written have been rewarding.

Today I wrote 500 words, bringing me up to 5,000 words for the manuscript. I also reread through what I had already written and made some edits. Surprisingly, I feel it is decently good. It's not perfect, but the idea and story feels solid to me. It is a story I've have bouncing around inside of me since high school and I guess now is its time to get released. I've never finished a manuscript for a novel before, but hopefully this will be the time. I've done a lot of thinking over the years, but not as much doing. To see my goals come to fruition will require work. Work I want to put in. I hope my commitment and desire will remain strong. This is definitely not a goal I want to fall by the wayside (though that is true of all my goals for this year).

Happy New Year!

A Melly Story: True Love

[Note: I started writing this in honor of my wedding. Over six months later, I am finally finishing it.]

"Grandpa," Melly said, moving closer to where he sat in his chair.

"Yes, Melly?" he replied.

"Will you tell me a story?" she asked.

"What kind of story would you like to hear?" he asked. The crickets and cicada chirped and rattled in the evening air as Melly thought.

"A story about true love," she finally announced.

"A story about true love, eh." He rubbed his chin. "A story about true love." He sat in pensive thought for a moment. Melly rocked on the balls of her feet while she waited. A slight smile began to form on his face. "I think I have just the story for you." His smile grew. He patted his lap, and Melly took the cue and quickly clambered up over his knees and onto his lap.

"Once upon a time there lived a young man named Neil. He worked in the town store to help earn some money to help his parents make ends meet. Each day he would walk into town and work at the store. He liked this job very much. It expanded his horizons as he met all kinds of people as he worked there. At first Neil's only jobs were to clean up and restock shelves, but over time the shop owner, Mr. Hampkins, trusted him enough to let him work with customers and help them with their purchases. Neil enjoyed tending the store and meeting new customers."

Melly put her hand up to his face. "Grandpa, this doesn't sound like a love story. It sounds like a story about a boy."

Grandpa chuckled. "Be patient, my dear. There is still more background you need before the girl comes into the story."

Melly sighed. "All right. But don't keep me waiting too long."

He smiled. "Careful, Melly. You don't want me to save the story for another day do you?" Melly shook her head. "Okay then," he continued, "Be patient while we lay the foundations of the story. Without the foundation the ending won't be as sweet. Sometimes the best things come to those that wait."

"That's what Mother says," Melly said with a small pout.

"Your mother is a wise woman."

"Okay." Melly cuddled up closer to her grandfather. "I'll be patient."

He wrapped his arms tighter around her and continued. "As I was saying, Neil enjoyed tending the store and meeting new customers. Many nights his younger sisters would beg for stories--many of which he based off events that had occurred that day at the store."

"Do you ever base stories off events that really happen?" Melly asked.

"Why yes," Grandpa said with a smile. "Yes, I do." He hugged her close and continued his story. "One day a beautiful young maid walked into the store. Her chestnut curls bounced as she walked. Neil watched from behind the counter as she stopped and looked at a horse figurine displayed on the shelf. After studying it for a time she moved on, coming closer to the counter with each step. Neil stood there mesmerized. He had never seen such a beautiful girl in his life. She stopped and fingered some ribbons. When she looked up her warm brown her met his hazel ones. Surreptitiously, he wiped his sweating palms on his trousers."

"Why was he sweating?" Melly asked, pulling back to look at her grandfather. "Was it very hot that day?"

"No," Grandfather chuckled, "it was not a particularly hot day. Neil was sweating because he was nervous."

"Why was he nervous?" Melly asked.

"Well, because he knew he was about to speak to a very pretty girl and that is something that makes most any young man nervous."

"Oh," Melly replied, still not quite understanding. But, she was more interested in hearing the rest of the story than trying to understand the psyche of young men. "So did he talk with her?"

"Yes," Grandfather replied. "After their eyes met she came up and asked for a pound of sugar. Neil stumbled over his words, but got her the sugar without making too much of a fool of himself. Once she left, he leaned on the counter and thought about her. He wondered who she was and what she was like. In his imagination she was warm-hearted and kind to match her beautiful appearance."

Melly moved away from her grandfather to grab the padded stool from by the fireplace. "Was she warm-hearted and kind?"

"Yes, Melly, she was as Neil found out once he got to know her. He soon found out by keeping his ears open that she was the daughter of the new preacher in town. Every few days she would come into the store to purchase something. At first Neil felt extremely nervous, yet excited, when she would come in. Overtime he began to ask her questions and get to know her. Once his sisters found out he had an interest in the new girl in town, they pestered him with questions about her and teased him too."

"What about her?" Melly had moved the stool next to her grandfather's chair and now rested her arms and chin on his legs. "Did she like Neil?"

"Well, that was part of what kept Neil feeling nervous even after he started getting to know her. Sometimes a smile would light up her face at something witty he'd said and hope bloomed in his heart that perhaps she might like him or at least learn to like him. But then he would question his reasoning. And as much as he would like to have gotten to know her better, he just wasn't sure enough of himself to put his heart out there for rejection."

"Yes, but did she like him?"

Grandfather laughed. "All in good time my little one." He ruffled her hair. "Like you, his sisters also sometimes had a tendency of becoming impatient. They got tired of Neil dragging his feet, so they decided to get to know Lucy themselves."

"Is Lucy the girls name?"

"Yes," Grandfather replied. "Neil's sisters got to know Lucy. One day they came up with a plan. They invited both Neil and Lucy to come on a picnic with them in the grove of trees along the road to town that was their family's favorite picnicking spot. Once both Neil and Lucy were there, his sisters hurried away on the excuse that they needed to pick berries for their mother. This left Neil and Lucy alone. At first they were both a bit awkward, but then they started talking and laughing. They waited for a bit, but when his sisters did not return, they decided to not wait and begin eating. They spent an enjoyable afternoon together. When the shadows began to lengthen they packed up the remains of the lunch. Neil offered Lucy his arm and began to walk her back to town. As they walked Neil's nervousness began again. He'd  had such an enjoyable afternoon and knew he wanted to spend more time with Lucy, but he was still a bit afraid to ask."

Grandfather stood up and put another log on the fire. After he sat back down, Melly arranged her arms on his legs once more. "What happened?" Melly asked. "Did he ask her?"

"Yes. Just before town he stopped. 'I had a wonderful time this afternoon,' he said. 'I have too,' Lucy replied smiling. 'Would,' he began. 'Would you care to.' He paused. 'Yes?' Lucy asked encouragingly. 'Would you like to go to the concert at Farmer Taylor's home Tuesday evening. He's invited some of the musicians in town to each play a song or two.' Lucy linked her arm through Neil's elbow. 'It would be my pleasure,' she replied. Neil's grin at her reply filled his face. That same grin still filled his face when he entered the family home to find his sisters eagerly awaiting his return. They were delighted to learn how well their plan had worked."

"If I were them, I would be delighted, too." Melly yawned.

"Ah, my child, you are tired. Perhaps we should save the rest of the story for another night."

Melly emphatically shook her head "no."

"Alright," Grandfather conceded, "But I will try to not keep you up too much longer. You mother would not be happy with me when she comes back from her friend's wedding to find that I have kept you up late every night with stories."

"When is Mother getting back?" Melly asked.

"The day after tomorrow. Now lets get back to the story. They went to the concert. Every few days they would do something together. Sometimes it was just a walk around town and talk during Neil's lunch break. It wasn't long before they had become best friends. Now Neil knew he wanted to be more than just friends, but he wasn't sure how to broach the subject with Lucy, despite now being very comfortable in her presence. He loved her kind and loving nature. She also had a certain amount of spunk that endeared her to him even more. Knowing that he had fallen deeply in love with Lucy, and hoping that she might feel the same for him, he turned to his most trusted advisers, his parents, and asked them what they thought he should do. His father encouraged Neil to start building a house on the plot on land he would inherit. His mother encouraged him to talk to Lucy about his feelings."

"So what did he do?" Melly asked.

"Well, first he spent some time pondering the advise he'd received. He went to the plot of land that would be his. He sat on a log, watched the world around him, and thought. A few days later he brought Lucy to that very spot where he'd sat and thought. They sat and talked about the beauty of the summer and anecdotes from their day. Lucy kept looking to the brown furrows in the otherwise green grass. Finally she asked about it. Neil stool up and offered her his hand. She took it and stood up. They walked over to the furrows, and Neil began to explain that the furrows marked where he planned to build a home. He told her of his love for her, then knelt on one knee and asked Lucy if she would share his life and that home with him. She eagerly accepted, whispering in his ear that she'd begun to love him from the moment she'd first walked in to the general store. She's stopped and looked at the horse figurine and the ribbons on her way to the counter to give her heart time to slow down the maddening pace it had begun the moment she'd laid eyes on him."

"So it was love at first sight?"

"In part," Grandfather replied. "Only in part."

Melly scrunched up her face. "What do you mean, 'only in part'?"

"Well, Melly, they were both attracted to each other and could sense the beauty of each others souls in that first moment, but as they got to know each other and spent time together, that love grew and blossomed and sunk roots deep into their souls."

"Oh," Melly replied. "So they got married and lived happily ever after?"

"Yes." A sweet, wistful look crossed over Grandfather's face. "They did get married, and they did live happily. Times were not always easy. They faced their share of trials. But they did live happily. As for the ever after, once I die and see your grandmother again, then truly we will live happily ever after."

Surprise blossomed on Melly's face. "That is yours and my grandmother's story?"

"Yes, dear girl, it is our story."

Melly sighed. "I wish I'd known her."

Grandfather wrapped an arm around her shoulder's and squeezed. "One day you will. Your grandmother loved you very much, and still does from where she is I'm sure. I remember her holding you and cradling you in her arms as she sung lullabies or spoke soft words while gazing lovingly at your face."

"How old was I when she died?" Melly asked.

"You had just turned two years old."

"Do you really think we will see her again when we die?"

"I know we will, my dear Melly. I know we will."

"How do you know?"

"Because she and I were married for time and eternity, just as your parents were. And that means we are married forever, in this life and in the next."

Melly smiled. "I'm glad."

"So am I, Melly."

They sat in silence gazing toward the fire and enjoying the cozy comfort of home and of the knowledge that their family would be together forever.

Grandfather stirred first. "Well, my child, the story is over and it's past time for you to be in bed."

Melly roused herself and stood. "Thank you, Grandfather. I enjoyed your story."

"You are welcome, my dear. Now off to bed."

Melly kissed his cheek goodnight, returned the stool to its place by the fire, and made her way to the stairs that led up to her bed. "Goodnight, Grandfather."

"Goodnight, Melly."

It's been awhile...

So, I decided to update my blog and realized it's been a long time since I posted. Life has been busy. Life has been wonderful. And three weeks from tomorrow I get to marry Jason!!!! That makes me very happy. A lot has happened in the past few months. And that's the short version. Maybe sometime I will write out the long version, but that will not be tonight. :)

Life is Good

I decided to write a post on this rainy Labor Day. Life is going pretty good for me right now. Not to say it doesn't still have it's rough parts, but life is good. I have a wonderful boyfriend, Jason. So that is of course wonderful and amazing and fabulous. That is really a lot of what makes life so good right now. Just being with him, thinking about him, makes me happy. Beyond the amazing wonderfulness that is Jason, I also have great friends. Church is wonderful each and every Sunday. I feel edified and so blessed. Life is good. :)

Changing Years

2011 is almost here. The years continue to pass by. Things change and things stay the same. This time last year I didn't have a job, but now I do. This time last year I lived at home--that has stayed the same. This time last year I tried to index at least 100 names a week as a volunteer. I still try to index 100 names a week, but now I am a called indexer/arbitrator/administrator. Like I said...things change and things stay the same. It will be interesting to see what changes this new year brings.

Happy New Year!

More Book Giveaways

So, I still haven't gotten around to writing on here, but there are some great book giveaways going on right now and the best I've come across so far can be found at http://rachaelreneeanderson.blogspot.com/

Check it out--it's pretty awesome :)