Cross Stitching

I love cross-stitching! I find it enjoyable and relaxing. I like all the different patterns and of course all the various colors of embroidery floss. I found this cool website online that offers you free patterns everyday. If any of you go to http://cross-stitchers-club.com/?code_avantage=okyjcc and join I will receive points to access patterns from previous days. I'd love you forever if you did! (Although I'll probably love you forever if you don't). Cross-stitching does bother my arms some, but I'm trying to manage that with some exercises I learned from people who went through my line at Day's market and gave me advice on how to help my carpal tunnel. One of the persons who gave me advice was a massage therapist--I trust her advice the most, and it does help--which is good.

It is late and I need to get myself off to bed. But, I thought I'd let y'all know about one of my hobbies. Jenn reintroduced me to it and taught me how to be a competent cross-stitcher--Thanks Jenn!!!

Navigation...Navigating...Navigated...

I've decided I need to get some pictures on my blog, particularly one of me. Which, actually wasn't why I decided to write a new blog post, although photography is a hobby of mine, though I'm not particularly splendid at it. But, why I decided to write, now doesn't seem as demanding a subject, which is a poor reflection on me since I was going to write about the death of a high school boy in my community. It is sad, especially since he has a twin brother, but in my defense I do not know them and am actually fairly removed from the Buena Vista community at the moment. It is rather sad, I know. I think losing someone so close to you, such as a twin would be difficult. I don't have much understanding when it comes to people dying since death hasn't really touched my life much. And, I must admit, that do kind of have a skewed vision of death. See, I moved a number of times as a child. And in general all the people that were near and dear to my heart at the time were separated from me, I had no more contact with them, and while there is always a slim chance that I'd meet them again--it was and is slim. And so in a way, moving is like death. You are no longer in contact, your lives have gone in separate directions. It is true what they say: "You can't go back to when you were happy." All you can do is move forward, though the past will always be a part of you.

In this modern age we have many more ways to keep in contact, and it does help. I mean earlier I was reading Camilla's blog and it was almost like have her near for a moment. Not as wonderful as seeing her in person, but certainly an uplift. But even then, it is pretty much impossible to stay in contact with everyone. It's not that I don't care for people, it's just...I don't even know. I do what I can, I try. I don't know what my future holds. I really have like no clue. It's kind of like walking into the dark and not being sure what's there. It's a bit frightening, though I do not fear per se, since I know the Lord will guide me, but it's kind of scary nonetheless. Plus, I have to do my part and I'm not completely sure what that is exactly, but I'm trying. I do spend a lot of time in pursuits that are perhaps not the most productive of activities. But, I am trying to get better and I am trying to figure out how to navigate my life.

I have many dreams and hopes for the future. I have the future I'd like tucked away in my heart. I would love to be a wife, mother, and author. However, at the moment I am not really close to achieving any of those goals/dreams. So, I'm trying to figure out how to make money to support myself. I have a BA in English. I did minor in editing, and I enjoy book layout and design. I would like to learn more about design and whatnot and have even started considering getting a degree in Graphic Design. Book design is something I enjoy and something that could possibly work out as a job for me. That is good. It all sounds good, right? So, why do I hesitate...well, for one thing, education costs money. I need money in order to get another degree. Getting a degree takes time, thus limiting the time I have to earn money in. If I moved back to Utah Valley, which would be my preference, I'd like to return to interning for Rick Walton, I'd want to got to Leading Edge at least once a week--preferably more, I'd like to work at the temple, and I could always see about interning for Cedar Fort's production department.

And all that doesn't even throw my health issues into the equation. My doctor once asked me if I was sure I could work 40 hours a week. At the time I told her "what other choice is there?" However, since then, I've moved home, because I literally couldn't work enough hours to pay my bills. And I'm really not sure if I could work 40 hours a week. I'd like to think I could. I mean, one summer I worked 60 hours a week the entire summer...unfortunately I believe doing things like that, may have contributed to my body's increased complaints of recent years. Sometimes I wonder if my knowledge of some of what is wrong with me hinders my ability to cope with and navigate through life. Is it "all in my mind"? I'm not sure I have an answer.

Be Not Discouraged

Why is it so hard for me to accomplish things, to get things done? What is my problem? I'm not sure I know. Perhaps I just need to learn greater self-discipline. That could be my problem. It certainly seems like the most likely answer. Selfishness could stand as a cause for my lack of self-discipline. So, now then, how do I overcome selfishness...the answer I generally here for that is service. And what is the cure for lack of discipline...work? It's a wonder I've accomplished anything in my life. But, I do know that if I want to accomplish things in the rest of my life it will require tons of hard work!

I do love good music.

I guess I also have trouble keeping goals...although I have achieved some goals in my life. I created a to do list to try to help me get things done and it has helped a little bit, but I still have a lot of improvement that is needed. I do allow good things to distract me from doing the best things.

Writing is often a slow process for me...often only a sentence or two at a time...the more important I consider it, often the longer it takes. Although there are times when I experience rushes of inspiration, and I write much quicker when I'm not worried about how I sound, going more for stream of conscious than sounding good or making it be good writing.

Sometimes I like to multitask. I see it as a way to get things done while not...you see often I can't seem to face the things I need to do, or they seem too overwhelming or whatnot. So, for example, right now I'm listening to music and rating it in my iTunes, I'm playing on pixiehollow.com (which I do quite love), and writing here.

Don't be discouraged...that is something I must strive for and perhaps that will help me with overcoming my selfishness and with developing more self control. Happy Weekend:)

It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I wrote my last post. I now live at home with my family in Buena Vista, VA (and I am quite enjoying the beautiful fall colors and autumn weather). Living at home provides me with the opportunity to sleep more and not participate in such arduous activities, which helps my body not hurt quite as much. I spend much of my time reading, which I enjoy, of course. I also attend an institute class--Presidents of the Church--and volunteer for SVU's literary magazine, The Review. I do miss having easy access to InDesign and Photoshop. I often miss my friends from Utah--people in my ward, at Day's Market, Leading Edge, and even from when I worked at the Wilk. I've been doing more indexing since I got home as part of my calling (sort of). I really enjoy indexing, although I usually only get two batches done a week.

I ought to write more, but I think this will be all for right now. Hopefully I'll write again soon.

Miscellani

I had some crazy dreams last night. Right now, instead of going to my internship early, I'm staying and watching Brian Regan. LOL. He's actually pretty funny. Today will be my last Saturday night working at Day's! After that I have two more day's of work and then I have to get to major league packing and whatnot. I am really starting to look forward to driving across the country and to seeing my friends. Doesn't relaxing sound so wonderful. It will be interesting to see what my SED rate is, especially since my knees were killing me yesterday and whatnot. I'm don't think the cortisone shot they gave me on Monday helped that much, it didn't really make the pain any better, but maybe it lowered my SED rate.

It seems like there was something else I was going to write about...oh, right. Last night I went to Marcia Lynn McClure's meet and greet in Orem. It was a long wait, but worth it. I totally bought two more of here books, even though I really can't afford it. I need to work on the whole buying things I can't afford. Oh, yesterday Rick Walton called me his assistant:). I enjoy working with him. I hope he still emails me stuff to do even when I'm in VA. My back is hurting right now:(, among other things. I still have lots of things to do before I move. I have gotten quite a bit done (in part due to the great help of friends), and getting everything else done will require lots of help from others, but I do need to try and get stuff done that only I can do. I've been on an NCIS kick lately. And I've given in to it a lot since I've been pretty worn out and hurting lately.

I am going to miss Leading Edge. I am also going to miss access to InDesign. I continually realize how much I love doing book layout and design! I guess I should really get going. But, yeah. Life's good despite life's various pitfalls. Until next time...au revoir

It's late

Hi, it's late and I should probably get ready for bed soon. But it's been awhile since I've written, so I decided to take a moment to write. My life is going to be changing soon. I'm moving in two weeks. That is really not that much time when you think about it. I have goals for when I get home. Number one is to work on sleep. Some of the others are Writing!, nutrition, health in general, and who knows what else. Oh, I'd like to do more scanning of Family History stuff, and Mom and Dad's photos. My doctor wasn't horribly pleased to see that my SED rate is back up to 30. But...well, that's just kind of how my life goes. Which is okay. I really should go to bed soon, 'cause I'm hungry and I do want to go to the temple tomorrow since it is about the only free time I have to go this week. Which reminds me, I need to email Rick Walton to let him know when I can work this week.

I have many dreams in life. I'm not sure how many of them will be fulfilled (or in what way/how different from what I might imagine) but that's okay...you know what they say about reaching for the stars. I enjoy book layout and design. I really do enjoy it. InDesign is one of my all time favorite computer programs. The internet is pretty awesome too.

I can't let myself stress out. I was a bit earlier. It is easy to do. Very easy. But, that's okay. The powercord for my laptop died yesterday (there was a blue spark, and then nothing) so I got a new one, it's not quite as great as my last one, but it will do, it will do. I really should go to bed. I am feeling rather tiredish despite the nap I took earlier today. It's nice to have friends.

Until next time.................

The good and the bad

My SED rate is back up to 30, but on the good side my Rhematoid factor is still negative. I didn't expect my expect my SED rate to be so high, but I figured it would be higher since I've been hurting so much lately. I have a feeling my Rheumatologist won't be quite pleased with my SED rate, but whatever. I haven't felt like doing much lately. Right now I'm watching "Guys and Dolls," but I am also doing my laundry so I am being semi-productive.

I'm a bit tiredish. I should still at least try to be somewhat productive tonight. TTFN