Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Sometimes, somewhat, a hypochondriac

I often worry too much about life and the many things life is made of. I feel quite socially awkward, I stress over making good decisions, and own a decided streak of perfectionism. My abundance of worry often leads me to feel as though I am a hypochondriac.And perhaps I am a hypochondriac...

I think, for a time, I did not worry so much--I knew I had fibromyalgia and arthritis and felt like I had an idea of a direction to go in. Then carpal tunnel hit, which threw me for quite the loop. And now as my arms hurt more and more, I worry. The silliest worry I have involves wondering what will show up next or what is already there but still unknown. Complete and utter nonsense.

I'll admit, regarding my health lately, I've tried to take the ostrich approach--keep your head in the sand and hope for the best. But, like I said, my arms keep hurting more and more. Plus, my digestive system continues to dislike me, having stayed unsettled for a month now. Part of my brain reasons that it is simply the result of going off an SSRI. The other part of my brain worries that something else could be wrong with me--most prominately celiac disease (sparked by the fact that the number of people I know that have it continues to grow). I certainly don't want celiac disease. Do you know how many foods have wheat in them--tons!

One thing that feeds my worry--I did not recognize I had carpal tunnel until it caused me quite a lot of pain--this resulted from the fact that I have other health problems that cause me to experience pain 24/7. Even now, if I didn't have this past year's experience with carpal tunnel, would simply think my arms hurt a lot currently.

Around and around I go. And a merry ride it is...

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