Wednesday, July 15, 2009

When You Can't Sleep

So, it's been awhile since I last wrote. I'm sorry that I haven't written much lately, but life is kind of busy and stressful and even overwhelming at times. I have SO much to do before I move home and to get ready to move home. The last couple of days I've started to have people ask me if I'm doing ok. LOL. I usually feel horrible, but generally it is not visible to other people (one of the trademarks of Fibromyalgia). I chatted online with Emily last night, which was wonderful and definitely brightened my day. People have offered help, but it is hard for me to say--I have no energy to prepare food for myself. Would you cook this spaghetti/rice/soup/etc. up for me. It just sounds so ridiculous! But really that would help me. The one person I feel sort of comfortable asking about doing such hasn't been at church the past couple of weeks, so...yeah. Sometimes I still wonder if it is all just in my mind. Sometimes I wonder if I really do have FM, but then as I think about it I always come to the conclusion that I do have it. At times I was successful at reasoning away having depression, but I never seem to succeed with Fibromyalgia (and I did have depression and am still taking medication for it).

So, the reason I'm writing at this early hour is 'cause I can't sleep. Even though I took my sleep meds, still I woke up in the middle of the night (which still happens with my sleep meds), but unlike other times, I can't fall back asleep. After 45 minutes I generally feel that it is pointless to keep tossing and turning and trying to ignore the aching and hurting. So, I turn on my computer (I don't have a booklight yet so I can't read). Now...I'm making some calls.

I'm hungry, maybe I'll go eat some breakfast. TTFN:)

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